Two people, two stories
A survey of 4,702 Australians aged 18 to 35 asked people about the last time choking happened. Of those who had choked a partner, 79.1% said the partner took an active part in consenting, by asking, agreeing or withdrawing consent. Of those who had been choked, 56.6% said the same.
People who had been choked were also more likely to say no consent was given beforehand (24.9%, compared with 15% of those who did the choking). Among women who had been choked, 9.6% said they had not consented but had not asked or signaled for their partner to stop, and 21.2% said consent had been given in an earlier encounter.
Agreeing without a way to stop
In a survey of 3,780 students at a large US university, 92.7% of those choked during their most recent sex said it was consensual, and 69.0% said they had wanted it “very much.” Yet 1 in 2 had no safe word or signal agreed beforehand, 38% relied on body language alone, and 7.2% had changes in consciousness. In an earlier campus survey, 21% of students who had been choked said they had never been asked first.
Why consent breaks down
Consent has to be sober, revocable, ongoing and enthusiastic, and choking undermines each one. It cuts off blood to the brain, so the person being choked stops thinking clearly before they pass out. A person can pass out 5 to 10 seconds after the carotid arteries close, and someone who is unconscious can’t agree to anything.
In a survey of 4,254 students, 37.6% of those who had been choked said they had been unable to speak at some point. The Institute for Addressing Strangulation states that reduced oxygen to the brain affects a person’s capacity to withdraw consent they gave earlier, which makes safe words and signals unreliable. Why choking can’t meet the pillars of consent →
Pressure to say yes
In interviews by Indiana University researchers, most of the women had not asked to be choked the first time, and many described being choked by surprise and then asked about it during sex. In a 2025 UK survey, 4% of people who had strangled a partner or been strangled during sex gave as a reason that they thought they had to say yes.
What it means
A yes to sex is not a yes to choking, and agreeing once is not permission for next time. If you’re the one choking someone, don’t assume they agreed. If you’re worried you went further than someone agreed to, Vibe Check is a free, private way to reflect on what happened and what taking responsibility could look like.
Sources
- Sharman, Fitzgerald & Douglas, Archives of Sexual Behavior 54(2) (2025).
- Herbenick et al., Sexuality Research and Social Policy (2025). 3,780 students.
- Herbenick et al., Exploring Educational Messages About Sexual Choking, Sexuality Research and Social Policy (2025), citing a 2020 campus survey.
- Herbenick et al., Archives of Sexual Behavior 51(6) (2022). 4,254 students.
- Training Institute on Strangulation Prevention, Physiological Consequences of Strangulation: Seconds to Minute Timeline (2024).
- Institute for Addressing Strangulation, There Is No Safe Way to Strangle: position statement (2024, reviewed 2025).
- Herbenick et al., Archives of Sexual Behavior 51 (2022). Interviews with 24 college women.
- Smailes, Munro & Tonkin, Strangulation During Sex in the UK (2025).