What students say
A 2021 survey of 973 undergraduates at a large US university asked when people should first be taught about choking during sex. 61.1% said high school and 22.1% said middle school, 83% in all. Another 2.3% said earlier, 5.5% said college and 8.0% said it shouldn’t be taught. The students had first heard about choking at age 15, on average. When asked how college students should learn about reducing its risks, conversations with parents were among the least chosen options, at 23.4%.
What a short message did
In the same study, students were randomly assigned to read five short messages, four messages, or none. The messages said that choking needs its own consent, that the person doing it can be legally responsible if someone is hurt or killed, that choking reduces blood flow and oxygen to the brain, that it is not a safe way to explore “breath play,” and that people can die from it.
Among students who had choked a partner before, those who read all five messages, including the legal one, had about a third of the odds of planning to choke a partner in the next six months. The messages made no difference among students who had never choked anyone or been choked. The study measured plans, not behavior, and only among college students.
What schools are starting to teach
In England, statutory guidance in force from September 2026 requires secondary schools to teach “that strangulation and suffocation are criminal offences” and that “any activity that involves applying force or pressure to someone’s neck or covering someone’s mouth and nose is dangerous and can lead to serious injury or death.”
Guidance from the PSHE Association, drawing on the Institute for Addressing Strangulation, recommends teaching it within lessons on pornography, consent and relationships, and teaching that consent does not make harmful behavior acceptable. Australian researchers have called for education that informs young people without shaming them.
For parents and educators
The tested messages carry facts adults can repeat: choking needs its own clear consent, it reduces blood flow and oxygen to the brain, people have died from it, and the person doing it can be held legally responsible. Debby Herbenick, the researcher behind much of this data, covers rough sex in Yes, Your Kid (2023), a guide for parents written with attorneys Susan Stone and Kristina Supler.
SafeBAE’s programming includes sexual strangulation prevention for schools. Request a program →
Sources
- Herbenick et al., Exploring Educational Messages About Sexual Choking, Sexuality Research and Social Policy (2025). 973 undergraduates.
- Department for Education, Relationships education, relationships and sex education (RSE) and health education (statutory guidance, from September 2026).
- PSHE Association, Addressing strangulation harms: what we learnt from talking to IFAS (August 2026).
- Sharman, Fitzgerald & Douglas, Archives of Sexual Behavior 54(2) (2025).
- Herbenick with Stone & Supler, Yes, Your Kid: What Parents Need to Know About Today’s Teens and Sex (BenBella, 2023).